James 315
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:18:00 -
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Here's my strategy on the cold war: We win, they lose.
- Ronald Wilson Reagan
You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy.
- William Jefferson Clinton
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp completes another successful contract.
Operation That Thing Where You Poke a Hole in a Piece of Paper to Safely View an Eclipse
Victim: Black Eclipse Corp.
A full report will be forthcoming, complete with videos, graphics, links, and page after endless page of text. The following battle reports are just a sample to whet your appetite. If you want to see the final killboard statistics, skip to the end of this post.
THE BATTLE OF K-6K16
June 26, 15:00 hrs. Considered logging in to play Eve but had other stuff to do instead. Down one-half box of Cheez-It brand baked snack *****ers. Black Eclipse Corp continued to hold the system, tenatively.
THE BATTLE OF NDII-Q
June 28, 19:45 hrs. Successfully logged into npc station in Amarr space. Evaluated the situation from both a tactical AND strategic standpoint. So far, so good. Skill training of Energy Management III completed. Proceeded to level IV. Onward and upward.
THE BATTLE OF DZ6-I5
June 29, 22:30 hrs. Feigned a surprise attack on Black Eclipse Corp mining POS--in reality, didn't leave station in high-sec. Maneuver a complete success. Majority of Black Eclipse Corp's carebears in the European timezone began logging off in panic, approx. 23:00 Eve time.
THE BATTLE OF MSKR-1
June 30, 03:15 hrs. Read reports from YACAODI1MAC spies and assorted fanmail. Our forces had obtained an edge in the psychological warfare front. Black Eclipse Corp unsure of how to proceed. Counter-intelligence showed no signs of breaches of our own security. That "at least one reference" policy is really paying off.
THE BATTLE OF GQ2S-8
July 01, 11:15 hrs. Surprise assault took place in the early morning hours, but did not involve either BoB or YACAODI1MAC forces. Accidentally reprocessed a gallente shuttle. Had plans to invade Delve, but postponed until more capital pilots could log in.
And finally....
Official Kill/Loss Tally for Operation That Thing Where You Poke a Hole in a Piece of Paper to Safely View an Eclipse
KILLS:
0 assault frigates
0 HACs
0 interceptors
0 frigates
1 carriers*
0 dreadnoughts
0 BATTLESHIPS
0 battlecruisers
0 interdictors
0 shuttles
0 pods
LOSSES:
0 assault frigates
0 HACs
0 interceptors
0 frigates
0 carriers
0 dreadnoughts
0 BATTLESHIPS
0 battlecruisers
0 interdictors
1 shuttles**
0 pods
* unconfirmed
** lost to accidental reprocessing. A setback to be sure, but hardly devastating. Efforts are already underway to acquire a replacement.
Some of you may ask how this contract can be considered a success when so little damage was done to Black Eclipse Corp. First of all, my plan for a masterstroke that would defeat Black Eclipse was completed and refined to the point where it was certain to work. That was the hard part, and I did it. Unfortunately I did not have time to execute it, since I, ya know, have a life and a girlfriend and I can't be on Eve 23/7 like some people. I also had to spend some of my valuable online minutes writing on Eve-O, where my principal responsibilities lie. But more importantly, for a mercenary, the definition of success is always the satisfaction of the employer. Not impressing a bunch of random onlookers. So yes, I was extremely successful and my employer says he would recommend YACAODI1MAC to anyone:
"I am completely satisfied by the execution of this contract. I would recommend YACAODI1MAC to anyone."
Thanks to Black Eclipse Corp for some good, smack-free pew pew. Lag was a bit of a drag, though.
- 315
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The views expressed in my posts are my own. They do not necessarily reflect the views of my corporation. |